20 Tips For Writers You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

Of all fatiguing, futile, empty trades, the worst, I suppose, is writing about writing. ~Hilaire Belloc

If you write about writing you will never run out of amusing material–as long as you are willing to laugh at yourself. Be a beginner writer and write about writing and you will find even the dog is chuckling behind your back.

Beginning is no fun. It is normal to wish we could skip the stumbling first steps, and the embarrassed laughter that follows. But embracing a new challenge in a more seasoned stage of life is particularly risky. Who wants to gingerly limp at an age when you had hoped for a poised and dignified stride?

Here’s the problem. For writers who remember a simpler day of blue notebooks and clunky typewriters, the learning curve has steepened. So, out of my recent, sometimes laughable experience I offer these hints:

20 Tips for Wanna-be Writers

1. Attend a writers conference.
2. Be inspired! Start a blog.
3. Realize you aren’t sure what a blog is for.
4. Buy Blogging for Dummies.
5. Try to figure out the Internet.
6. Try to figure out your computer.
7. Ask confusing, computer-related questions of everyone younger than you.
8. Create a profile page.
9. Have a close-up photo taken.
10. Notice how close a close-up is.
11. Consider plastic surgery.
12. Learn the secrets of social media.
13. Ask your Facebook friends to explain what Twitter really is.
14. Learn the secrets of a good book proposal.
15. Secretly wonder what kind of book you would propose.
16. Buy a Thesaurus. 
17. Buy a new chair.
18. Buy comfy sweatpants.
19. Plan your first book-signing.
20. Write.

 To save time, and improve faster, skip #1-19 and go straight to tip #20.

Do you have any helpful tips to share? Are you learning to laugh at yourself?