As a young girl I would sing a song from the movie Goodbye Mr. Chips and, without fail, choke up on the last verse: “And the question I will ask only God can answer, Was I brave and strong and true? Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?“ It was my vow that, in the end, the answer would be an emphatic “yes.”
Years later, I was driving along in my car asking God if I could please have the planet to myself. Love was the last thing I wanted to offer the world, specifically some people in it. People hurt, disappoint, and refuse to stay within the lines of lovability.
I get tripped up by misconceptions about love. I don’t like pretending, I don’t feel “nice” enough, “tolerant” enough to join in the polite group LUV that often passes for the real thing. But I have seen real, biblical love at work, and I’m drawn to the evidence that:
- Love is not an emotion, Love is intention.
- Love is not an ideal, Love pursues a goal.
- Love is not blindly sentimental, Love is surprisingly shrewd.
- Love is not the opposite of conflict, Love often rocks the boat.
- Love is not the opposite of truth, Love is truth’s inseparable twin.
- Love is not weak, Love is the powerful weapon of the weak.
- Love is not cowardly tolerance, Love is radical trust…
…in God, who with great intention, weaves his winsome way through our lives, in passionate pursuit of our truest selves, upsetting our assumptions and disturbing the peace for the sake of our highest good.
Now, that kind of love I want to learn.
We love because he first loved us.
Have you been confused about love? What have you discovered about the real thing? I would “love” if you would share it!
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16 replies on “7 Things Love is Not”
Wonderful as usual, Janet. Hey, where do you find the cool photos?
Thanks, Robert. I use flickr. Blessings…
Indeed Love is Truth’s inseparable twin! And although I agree that Love is not blindly sentimental – it often acts that way ! Love IS intention – a choosing to …. a love in the footsteps of how Jesus loves…. and man! that can be so clear and yet quite confusing on what that should look like. I have never seen the movie “Mr. Chips”? But that song is a conviction and it echoes with my heartbeat in trepidation for the day when I look in my Saviour’s face and I want to hear those words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant….!” I hope I will be brave and strong and true and love, love, LOVE people!
Soos,
I bet you could find the song on you tube. And yes, I still want the answer to be yes. I hear your passion and rejoice in it!
So many of us who profess to be people of love so often need reminders of what it truly is. Thanks for sharing this Janet!
Sarah, so true!
Love and truth are definitely inseparable twins. When we live like that, we are living into Ephesians 4:15, where it says, “Instead, speaking the TRUTH in LOVE, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”
I find that so many people try to separate truth and love. Some lean more heavily on truth and use it like a hammer. Others lean more heavily on “love” (in the emotional sense of the word) and smother others with their gooey love.
But when the two are connected as twins, then we are not afraid to speak the hard truth when necessary – and we speak it with the intention of empowering and caring for the other person. We are also not afraid to show acts of love and compassion that take us out of our comfort zone because we know that truth demands action in favor of the other person.
Thanks Janet, for once again digging into the heart of the matter. I believe God hears your “yes” today and is saying an emphatic “YES” back to you!
Linda, Well said!You describe the twin workings of love and truth in a way I hadn’t thought of. Thank you!
Thanks for your wonderful insight Janet. I have often said “If you fall in love you will fall for anything.” I can look at my marriage & apply these 7 points as well.
Cretia,
I love your quote–so true! You do live those 7 points well.
I confess I live as if I must chose one or the other… as if it really is “love versus truth”. Maybe thinking of them as “inseparable twins” will help me in my struggle to keep them in balance.
Julie, I resonate with that struggle. Perhaps we misunderstand truth as well…thank you!
Excellent, Janet! Genuine love is active, not passive emotion. But it is so easy to be lazy!
So it is, Marilyn. Great to hear from you!
Finally sit ‘in quiet’ to read…absorb… this.
Janet, this has to be my favorite of your blogs thus far!
You address me….
I will re-read over and over.
Through your words, truths…I always learn.
My dear friend, I so appreciate and thank you deeply for sharing.
I need your voice…you…He knows!
Thank you, dear friend!