Category: Faith

 The glory of God is a human being fully alive. ~St. Irenaeus

I’m still chewing on the same topic: Fear of Failure. Why? Because fear is a potent enemy of the joy we were made for. Because when held up to the light, fears are revealed for what they are.

The failure we fear comes in several sizes. There’s

• The Choke–you blow it when it matters most.
• The Shun–you lose the approval you crave.
• The Crash–your life ends up in shambles.

That we would avoid failure of any size is hardly surprising, but not inevitable. In a parable of Jesus we glimpse God’s perspective: Matthew 25:14-30.

A Parable

Before his departure, a wealthy traveller calls three servants into the room, and entrusts them with his investments. To one he gives five bags of gold, to another, two bags, and only one bag to the last man to arrive.

Clutching his more modest share, the last guy watches the others go to work. Trading wisely, shrewdly eyeing the rise and fall of the market–in no time they double their master’s money. The third man hesitates. The potential for such wild success is dimmed by the volatility of the stocks, conflicting financial predictions, the sight of panicked traders pacing the floor. The risk of failure seems high.

He digs a hole and buries the money, choosing the disappointment of his master over a future he cannot predict, and blames the master for his choice. The response is shockingly harsh, “As for this worthless servant, throw him into the outer darkness…”

A Wake up Call

A year ago a wise friend applied this story to me. What I thought was prudent humility, a sane avoidance of conflict and criticism, she named as a cowardly denial of gifts that are not mine to begin with.

I no longer look at my fears in the same way.

What has God entrusted to you? Have you “buried” anything out of fear of failing?

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. ~ Winston Churchill

Many of us avoid firsts. We avoid the challenge associated with change, we cling to the familiar. Psychologists use the term homeostasis to describe the state of emotional equilibrium we prefer. We refuse to budge even from destructive circumstances to avoid the insecurity of the unknown.

We fear potential humiliation, the possibility of exposure, more than our present pain.

Why? Because we remember what it felt like to fail.

First Day Fail

My first day of third grade, new school, new town, new state. I was the last to finish my assigned essay, “What I did during my summer vacation.” I was slower than the rest because, as Kenny, the boy seated next to me, loudly informed the teacher, I was not writing in cursive! I stared at my paper in misery–in the clash of curriculums I hadn’t yet learned how to not print.

Trust me, I went home and taught myself; public shame is a powerful motivator.

An eight year old can’t avoid those tough moments. The decision to move to a strange, new community a continent away was not mine to make. But as an adult I have moved, have stepped into new settings, and it is always the same. In a new place, attempting a new task, you cannot know what you don’t know. And the Kenny’s of the world will always be there.

But failure is not the end, it is a sign post to the better end God has in mind. I learned two important lessons that first day of third grade:

1. I can teach myself.
2. I can survive criticism.

I’d call that a successful first day. 

 Image credit jenswessling at flickr