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Change And Become Your True Self

baby birds hatching, become something new

“We are all rough drafts of the people we’re still becoming.”

Bob Goff

To be, or to become–which is the question?

Be: Life is a state, a fate, an accomplishment, a fortress we defend, a task from which we escape.
Become: Life is change, constant movement, a journey, a path we travel, a dance with ever changing steps.

Be: Life is a true or false test, with one chance to pass.
Become: Life is a story, and its end will astound us all.

Be: I am what I am, and nothing’s going to change.
Become: Change your mind, your habits, your distracting allegiances, and become someone new–today.

But We Fear Change

But change alarms us. Consider this powerful, poetic insight: “We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the present and let our illusions die.” W. H. Auden

  • We love our illusions–our shiny self-image, our cocoon of comfort, and elusive security.
  • We fear our crosses–refusing to die to rampant self-interest, our ravenous egos, the whimpering voice inside demanding certainty and control.

The truth is, there is no neutral ground. By default, we become something, in response to what we love or fear. We are changed by our choices (or the strongest voices), over time feeling more at home with Heaven or with Hell.

We Become Addicted to Change

I recently read a thoughtful (and, in some ways horrifying) interview with Mark Zuckerberg. Without a doubt, this brilliant young man has single-mindedly changed the way we do relationships–not to mention, how some of us vote. Evidently, the informal corporate motto for Facebook has been, until recently, “Move fast and break things.” As one top manager admits, “We believe in the religion of growth.”

Well, the gods of growth have granted them favor, judging by the number of us with phones glued to our hands. The population of Facebook now exceeds the number of Christians in the world.

Certainly, there’s a problem, as a former Facebook executive candidly shares. “The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops that we have created are destroying how society works–no civil discourse, no cooperation, misinformation, mistruth…I feel tremendous guilt.”

In the New Yorker interview, Mr. Zuckerberg seems genuinely puzzled as to how to fix what his team so merrily broke. Which algorithm could restore us? Sadly, as history reveals, human effort can make us great–but even the brightest Tech thinkers don’t know how to make us good.

And greatness without goodness makes monsters of us all.

So, Change and Become Your True Self

In our series, An Alphabet of Life: Wisdom Learned in the Verbs, we continue with another common human question: “Who am I?” The Bible answers the bigger question behind it first, and then responds to ours:

  • Bigger Question #1: What is God like? Can I trust him today, and always?
  • Our Question #2: Who am I? Who am I meant to become?

We find the answer to the second question hidden in the answer to the first. What do I mean? Here’s an example.

An Example from Psalm 103

Question #1: What is God like–can I trust him? Answer (a brief summary): God is merciful, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. He’s the good and true Ruler and Judge over all heaven and earth, who heals, forgives, and redeems; a compassionate Father who “remembers that we are dust.”

Question #2a: Who am I? Answer (a summary): Like grass and wild-flowers, you are fragile and fleeting, yet surrounded by, crowned with, the faithful, generous love of God (as described in answer #1).

Question #2b: And, who am I meant to become? Answer: God’s beloved child, strongly resembling him (as described in answer #1).

Do you see how human identity and purpose come wrapped in the character of God?

The Key

But, how do we become like God, rather than his opposite? We return to the first question, “Can I trust him?”

For instance, when faced with a choice, what scale weighs your decision? The approval of others? The best financial outcome? What feels most pleasurable, comfortable, or secure?

The scales we use reveal who we really trust. And, who we trust determines who we become.

God, may my choices reflect your loving plan for this world, and in this way become my true self.

Thanks for meeting me here! You can subscribe to this series by scrolling to the very bottom of this page. Join us next time for Cling in our Alphabet of Life.

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Bible Culture Life

Act Justly: An Antidote For Outrage

An antidote to outrage

“There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.”

Saint Frances de Sales

Addicted to Outrage

The topic of outrage is a researcher’s dream–no need to search far for examples. Today, even mild offense at perceived injustice erupts into viral disgust. According to recent studies,

  1. Anger is addictive. After an anger adrenaline rush, the primordial area of our brain begs for more. We find courteous, moderate discussion chemically boring, so we reach for another unhappy high.
  2. Anger can be dangerous. Medical research proves that chronic anger can lead to heart disease, diabetes, eating disorders, and mental/emotional ill-health.
  3. Anger is profitable as well as entertaining. The growing “Outrage Industry”, centered on crude, demeaning rants about public figures or topics, is turning bullies into billionaires, at our blood pressure’s expense.
  4. Anger often leads to a sense of moral superiority–when the people around us refuse to join in.
  5. Anger is selective. Blame-throwing is so much less painful than admitting our own complicity with injustice.
  6. Anger is contagious. According to social media research, strong emotions travel faster online. But nothing moves faster, and is “shared” more often, than outrage.

Except for Awe. When we encounter something bigger and better than ourselves–more beautiful, more kind, more just, more redemptive–the natural response is to stop… and to share. Researchers discovered that awe is even more contagious and addictive than anger, and so much better for our health.

So, how do we cultivate awe?

Act Justly

In our series, An Alphabet of Life: Wisdom Learned in the Verbs, we begin with the question facing every human being: “What is the good life? In a world so angry, so broken and confused, how do I not only stay sane, but thrive?

The ancient prophet’s answer is ever new: “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

The good life is not found in our powerful emotions–it is something we are caught in the middle of doing.

  • Angry? Act justly in every thought and encounter, even when the world around you is unjust.
  • Disgusted? Love kindness, invest yourself whole-heartedly in mercy, and never trade it for darker thrills.
  • Horrified? Walk humbly with God, obeying his voice, in certain hope his justice and mercy will prevail.

Choose Life or Death

Life: Because God delights in human flourishing, his justice bends toward the vulnerable and powerless, the alien, and the poor–the unfortunates most often despised.

To heal, save, transform, redeem, repair, restore, defend, plant, uplift, encourage–these are biblical verbs of life.

Death: The devil, the self-proclaimed ruler of this world, delights when humans, made in the image of God, diminish. So, our world teaches us to favor the rich, the powerful, the self-sufficient and self-made.

To destroy, discourage, deface, demean, devastate, despise, divide, deceive, humiliate, exploit–these are biblical verbs of death.

Read the verbs, slowly, again.

Every time you act, think, listen, and speak, you choose either life or death–not only for yourself, but for the rest of us.

Team Human

Earlier this year, my husband and I were in line to board our airplane. The terminal space provided was small and crowded, making it impossible to avoid the conversations clamoring around us. The topics and opinions shared were neither uplifting nor reasonable. Everyone was angry about something.

My husband looked at me, his eyes wide with dismay, and I almost blurted out, “I don’t think these are our people.” Instead, I heard God’s almost audible whisper, “Forget pasting labels and choosing sides–I want you to root for Team Human.” Just like that, everyone in the terminal became my people, simply because they are His.

Further reading: Psalm 33: 4-5 Psalm 103 Psalm 106:3 Proverbs 11:2 Isaiah 56:1 Jeremiah 9:23-24 Jeremiah 22:3 Matthew 5:7 Matthew 23:23 James 3:13-18

Sources:

Join me next time for Become in our series: An Alphabet of Life: Wisdom Learned in the Verbs.

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Culture Faith Life

Follow the Verbs: An Alphabet of Life

“Ever since the Greeks, we have been drunk with language! We have made a cage with our words and shoved our God inside.”

Morris West

What if verbs lead to wisdom but we prefer adjectives and nouns?

The world is a mess. People are crazy. I am fat. He is annoying.

Thanks to Alexander the Great, and his philosophical tutors, most of the world dances to an ancient Greek tune. For instance, when we search for the bottom line, or pin an opponent with adjectives, or raise our voices to defend a favorite noun, we reveal our philosophical bent.

Bullet points and lists, categories and tables, statistics and flow charts both comfort and frighten, but do we question their right to be heard? Truth is what I see, what I can poke, what can be factually proven…or is it?

It is, if you’re balancing your checkbook.

But the Bible speaks from an ancient Hebrew, verb-oriented point of view. Our Greek-smeared lenses can confound our reading, especially in the Old Testament. But there is another lens. Notice the difference:

Hebrew………….Greek

  • Active……………………………..Passive
  • Concrete…………………………Abstract
  • Substance……………………….Outward appearance
  • Experience………………………Explanation
  • Functional……………………….Philosophical
  • Right Conduct………………….Right Thinking
  • A God-soaked world…………A human-centered world
  • Descriptive……………………….Didactic

Verbs or Nouns: An Example

In one sentence, tell me about your neighbor.

Greek Perspective: She is dark-haired, of medium height, speaks broken English, a musician, mother of two.

Hebrew Perspective: She brought a pot of soup to our door when we all had the flu, grows lovely tomatoes, and practices piano late into the night.

Which answer compels you to meet her? Which answer better informs?

One could say that Hebrew reveals rather than theorizes, and speaks to the heart more than the head. And the language is literally rooted in verbs. Modern minds search the Bible for doctrine, creeds, proof texts, and conclusions…

…and, what do we find instead?

The Great Reveal

We find a dynamic, plot-driven narrative, a deep, grounded reveal of a Way that leads to Life, where Truth is a Person, and Hope plants its seeds in the darkest of days.

Before our eyes, mountains quake, waters roar, trees clap their hands, rocks cry out, and the sun stands still. We watch cowards become heroes, the brave often blunder; the proud and the humble find their positions reversed. And there we are among them all–worse off than we feared, worth more than we imagined, and made for a Joy too good to not be true.

Because, a Love-that-never-fails weaves all together, the good and the ugly, into one grand story, of Glory.

Verbs Hurt

Verbs can make our too-modern brains hurt. Invited to wrestle, mull-over, to chew, puzzle, ponder, or savor, we yearn for something succinct. Yes, nailed-down nouns perform well on a pie chart, but what if wisdom is found in the verbs?

We all have the wiring for a holistic grammar–why not let verbs have their say? In the weeks ahead we will explore the verbal, dynamic heartbeat of the Bible–see you next time with A is for Act Justly, from An Alphabet of Life: Wisdom Learned in the Verbs.

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Life

Death By Partisan Palate

“If the present world go astray, the cause is in you, in you it is to be sought.” –Dante

It’s killing us, this cloud of suspicion, this partisan derision, this one-eyed squint at the future as we huddle to root for our side. We are all weary and wary of political comment, so I offer a parable instead:

A Non-partisan Palate

Long ago…

…in a village with two different views,
herbivores and carnivores prepared their own stews
in peace, respectfully acknowledging diverse culinaries,
trading bone broth for berries, ripe cheese for cherries.

The lords in high places made no profit from kindness,
from humble admissions of bias and blindness.
In the face of the villagers’ habit of sharing,
they devised a new message, both cunning and daring:

“Life is not about preference and the meals shared between us,
we need to punish THEM for daring to not BE us!”

So they crafted in darkness a new kind of norm:
From both sides were hurled rotten food in some form–
a platter of t-bones, a bucket of peach stones,
culinary allegiance creating a war zone.

Cries became common, “They’re causing this riot!
Anyone can see they are mocking our diet.
We’ve had enough of their supercilious glances,
Of patronizing looks and superior stances.”

Offended, defended, suspicious, afraid,
gastronomic generosity was replaced with Kool-Aid.
The lords chortled in triumph and high-fived with glee–
they’d turned difference of opinion into mean lunacy!

Hate was stockpiled for unpalatable winters,
New fences were built for inevitable splinters,
For now vegans, detoxers and gluten pretenders,
Atkins, and Paleo, and slow food defenders

Made everyone right, and everyone wrong,
No one remembering what it meant to belong
to one common platter from which they all ate,
and the omnivorous reasons to pass every plate.

When your point of view demands your allegiance,
Then life will consist of one long, bitter grievance.

Here’ s the thing–we all, both strange and familiar, want the same things:

  • For the neighbor’s dog to stop barking
  • For their children to be happy and safe
  • To be treated the way you want to be.

Our world is in trouble because we refuse to believe it. We’re being groomed to think of each other as caricatures, as voodoo dolls, a convenient place to stick our angers and fears.

While the partisan lords grow rich from our compliance.

Here’s a simple test.

  • Think of the political leader, past or present, you’ve most despised or admired. If that same leader played for the other team, would you still hold the same opinion?
  • Think of a people group you fear. Are you as generous with their flaws and failures as you are with yourself?

Be honest with yourself about your allegiances–you’ll thank me someday. The world is too complex to live under the delusion that only you, or I, have all the answers.

The Heart of the Problem

As Jesuit priest Pierre de Caussade wrote over 300 years ago, “All God wishes is to be the sole object and only enchantment of our hearts.”

What other voices have enchanted you, have put you under their spell?

Coming soon: A new series! “The Alphabet of Life: Wisdom Learned in the Verbs”

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When Life Has Been Turned Upside Down

“The grinding power of the Gospel story is like the power of millstones; and those who can read them simply enough will feel as if rocks had been rolled upon them.”

G.K. Chesterton

There once was a man who built his life, an imposing fortress on the edge of a cliff.

Perched proudly on the smooth stone of hard work and inherited advantage, his efforts earned the admiration and applause of all who looked up from the plain below.

In time, his soaring walls grew thick with loyalties and loves, traditions and trophies, with the values and viewpoints of significant somebodies whose approval he craved.

No drafty doubts troubled him. In every chink and crevice, he’d stuffed sandbags of certainty and pious conviction, hardened by age.

The fortress could not be assailed, for the man’s self-understanding and well-earned security were built on solid rock.

Life Upended

But one day, something kicked down the castle, grabbed the man by the ankles, and turned him upside down. The dangling man screamed in terror as he watched his carefully built self, like a well-polished mirror, bounce against the cliff walls, shattering to pieces on the valley floor below. All that was left of him was one desperate prayer that whatever was still clutching him wouldn’t let go.

Over time the man’s fright turned to anger. Was it God who had done this to him? What a cruel, malicious deity, if so! Sure, there were bad people who deserved to lose everything, but not he, a card-carrying member of the good!

However, anger tends to dribble away when one is suspended upside down, and gradually a new thought occurred. Could it be that the life now in ruins was the upside-down one, that all those years he’d been held secure by God’s firm grip alone?

At that very moment the man’s feet curled in delight, for he stood upright again. Without the need to be anyone special, the whole world now felt like home. The man lifted his arms to the loving gaze above him, and, with chin-chucked tickles and shrieks of laughter, they set off to explore.

“Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10:15

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?”

Luke 9:24-25                        

Are you ready for life to be turned right-side up?

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The Song Only Christmas Can Sing

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Luke 2: 10

The Christmas Song

Even that first Christmas, not everyone listened.

Yes, shepherds and wise men hurried to the stable. And warmed by hay-breathed beasts, his love-struck mother leaned close. Just a handful of strangers gazed at a manger, as one star hung low, over the infant below.

Missing Christmas

No doubt, cross the yard, the innkeeper sat hunched over his figures, muttering at taxes and costly repairs. Bedbugs ruin business, as do drunken brawls, heard through the walls. Maybe, for a moment, a strange, ethereal sound made him look up, and he wondered if on top of it all his hearing was going, and wasn’t that how his own dad expired, stone-deaf and tired?

And, we can assume, at least one of his guests tossed and turned in a room, sweat-scented with travelers, come for the census. For the Emperor decreed that all would be counted, and taxes mounted to pay for his glory and luxurious dreams. (Still today, drunk with power, kings are driven by greed to take more than they need).

And that guest maybe wondered why the dark sky grew lighter, a bright beam through the window making it difficult to sleep. They should do something about that, she perhaps moaned to her mattress, a tear wetting her cheek because nothing seemed right, especially at night.

And when a soft baby’s cry disturbed the earth’s slumber, and the angels wondered at Love’s stooping to free us, so we could finally be us (as God planned all along), and burst into song:

“We bring Good News of Great Joy—all of you! Come,  forgotten or famous, broken or bullied, suffering or self-satisfied, deaf, blind, or bitter—listen! The one who will save you—from your own prickly pride, from the darkness that will swallow you, from the mob bent on hardening your once tender heart—to all weary-worn, Christ is born!”

It’s interesting to ponder, just how few responded; the rest just turned over, a pillow on their head, the sleep of the dead.

And this Christmas, will you listen?

This year, as you scroll through internet madness, or search for mall parking, and wonder if this Christmas you’ll stay sober, or if anyone even knows or cares you exist–will you listen? For Jesus is beside you, whispering through your fear, “I am here.”

The carolers still gather, and birds in the chill morning are still singing to Him. The Christmas tree points skyward, the candle flames upward. And if you tune out the chaotic, cruel clamor, and quiet your mind, there you’ll find,

piercing the silence, a song clear and true, calling to you with good news to tell—

All is well.

All is Well, Michael W. Smith

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Honorable Mention: You Are What You Love

“Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable…think about these things.”

Philippians 4:8

Photography by Melanie Hunt

Dishonorable Projection

A hypocrite calls out an imposter, a liar believes nothing is true,

A fool thinks everyone is stupid, the jaded think nothing is new.

The shamed are filled with sneering contempt, the bullied will batter the weak.

The unfaithful will see only traitors, the proud will resist all critique.

We hate in others what we fear we’ve become, and we deface the beauty we lack.

But by honoring what is honorable in the eyes of God, we receive our honor back.

Honor Roll

The loving will see a rare diamond, where others see only the dirt,

The forgiven will be merciful in return, the tender will notice our hurt.

The wise will be also be humble, the humble will seek out the wise.

The grateful will know they’ve earned nothing, the transparent will confess their disguise.

The meek will arise with courage and strength, the truthful will set us free.

The peacemaker will mend our divided land, the pure hearted will teach us to see.

One addendum, if I may, for I’ve seen this to be true:

Those who really know Jesus will look just like Him, but seldom believe that they do.

Honorable Mentions

Hebrew wisdom reminds us, “Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but those who are kind to the needy honor him.” Proverbs 14:31.

The Greek philosopher Diogenes (d. 323 B.C.) answered the question, ‘How shall I defend myself against my enemy?’ in this way: “By proving yourself good and honorable.”

The Apostle Peter wrote to beleaguered Christians, “Live honorably among the unbelievers. Today, they defame you, as if you were doing evil. But in the day when God visits to judge they will glorify him, because they have observed your honorable deeds.” 1 Peter 2:12

 Amen. Let it be so.

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The Truest Thing About You

If One Thing Is True

You are held fast,

In Love so vast, uncontained, unrestrained.

Frail you may be, with your trifling woes,

but immense is the plain beneath your toes.

How deep and rich the soil that roots you,

how vibrant, serene the song that refutes you,

in your willful wondering, wandering, withering,

your blithering voice, so prone to claim

with weary disdain,

“The world is vain, capricious and mean.

miserly, lean, dispensing crumbs,

rancid butter scraped across bread,

my order misread,

my hopes underfed.”

Repent!

Spread your arms wide beneath generous skies,

let starlight wash away your self-pitying sighs.

Throw open your window to dawn-drunk songbirds,

you’ve spent far too many hours imbibing the wrong words,

the lies, the Kool-Aid, the screen-lit parade of truth betrayed.

Wake up!

to the scent of a new day borning,

and savor each flavor, the colors of morning.

It’s your choice to rejoice or swallow the shallow,

to rest in glad silence, or churlishly wallow.

Turn and face a different way, away from the crowd, the proud.

What will you find?

Life!

as perceived by you (a thing dreary and dark, a question mark), a mere veneer.

There’s joy beneath, fathoms deep, galaxies of goodness soar above you.

You are, right this moment,

marinated,

saturated,

percolated

In Love.

Come home, dear heart, to this embracing space.

Grace!

Listen in silence to the tune too thunderous, too wondrous to hear.

The song is Love,

piercing the darkness,

overwhelming all evil,

making everything beautiful at just the right time.

Return to your heart, that’s where you start,

away from the judging, your grudging thoughts trudging

through ditches of disdain and righteous pretension.

Pay attention!

The instruments are tuning, the dancers are turning,

a hush has fallen,

a hand is held out,

Three-in-One waiting, anticipating,

Respond!

Step onto the floor, the dance is begun, just run

without fear of failure.

It’s what you were made for—to love and be loved

even now…

even if…

But there is no cliff.

You are held fast, you always have been.

Janet Hanson, c. 2017

God, give us a voice to sing the truest thing, and ears to hear and be glad.

Photograph courtesy of Melanie Hunt
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Finding Life In The Commas

“The best lives are riddled with ambiguities and lined with shadows. Each of them is a story about grace.”

~Marilyn McEntyre

comma

Life is lived in the commas, among dashes and ellipses, but many of us prefer the period.

We like clear resolution and a definitive end.

    • I am right. She is wrong.
    • They are evil. We are good.
  • You are at fault and need to stop whining, so we can wrap this up and go home.

Wielding periods, we can slam doors, burn bridges, and shake the disgusted dust off our feet. How satisfying to stamp Mystery Solved, Case Complete, Game Over, The End to our drama, our questions, and our doubts.

But the truth unfolds in the commas.

  • In some ways he’s right, but not completely.
  • She may be wrong, but is on the right track.
  • We are all sometimes evil, and we are all capable of great good. The line goes through, not between us.

What are we learning when resolution eludes us? What growth takes place as life’s sentences run on? Commas must be feared if the world has no author. Truth feels slippery, lines quickly blur, we all stumble along, waiting for our worst fears to come true.

Waiting In The Commas

In the season of Advent we wait, and remember the ancient rumors have turned out to be true. There is an author in charge, the perfect end even now unfolds, and we’ve been handed the plot line–not a list of pious opinions, but a person to follow.  Jesus. Our light in the darkness, our guide through the chaos, our power to love when surrounded by hate, he promises to redeem, restore, transform even our most dreadful mistakes (if we let him) into breathtaking beacons of hope.

One day the period will be put to all evil, death, and misery. For now God waits, patiently moving through the good and the bad, wasting nothing, giving up on no-one, desiring that everyone on earth run into his outstretched arms.

But, remember, he uses our arms for the job. He demands that we love others the way we long to be loved, even when our punctuation is out of sync.

It’s not easy.

Flourishing in the commas requires humility (I could be wrong, because there’s more to this than I can see), hope (God is not absent just because I’m tempted to despair) and habit (I will keep my heart open, continue to love, especially the people whom nobody else will love).

1 Corinthians 13, 2 Peter 3:8-10

Where do you see the love of God at work in the commas?

 The quote at the top is from Marilyn McEntyre’s lovely new book, Word by Word, A Daily Spiritual Practice. A perfect stocking stuffer for your favorite reader.

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The Magnificent Messiness Of Mercy

I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand. ~Linus

sculpture-1012009_1920

Mercy is messy, because no one deserves it. Judgment is the less confusing path.

We find it far easier to stand smugly at a distance and judge another’s suffering. “Stop whining, you made your choices. It’s nobody’s fault but your own.”

From our comfortable perch we can mourn over abstract principles and cultural symbols without having to love the people they represent.

Listen to us! We loyally defend inanimate  ideology, while ignoring the cries of the living.

We rally for a cause, we complain about the system, while avoiding a stranger’s outstretched hand.

We adore nature while carelessly despoiling it, we sentimentalize children we’ve no intention to help, and shed tears for victims we would never allow into our homes.

Compassion doesn’t occur in us naturally. Most of us find it easier to embrace what is distant, theoretical , and simple, over the messy, unpredictable tangibility of earthly need.

In this, we do not resemble our Maker.

Mercy Is God’s Heart

“The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made” (Psalm 145:9). The Hebrew word for mercy here is also the word for womb. How does a protective mother feel about the child she bore? Even more fiercely does God love everything he has made.

The New Testament identifies God as the “Father of mercies” (2 Corinthians 1:3), for “he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked” (Luke 6:35). At the heart of Jesus’ teaching we discover a counter-intuitive command. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36).

Be merciful to those who hate you, curse, and mistreat you, who steal from you, demand things of you–how much messier does mercy get? And what is our motivation to obey?

That we, the unmerciful, receive the mercy of God every single day.

Learning Mercy

Pause for a moment and consider God’s handiwork, the target of his compassion. (See Genesis 1 and 2 for a complete listing).

Now ponder what is not on that list, all that is of human, or inhuman, construction. What are the symbols, the institutions, the idols, the rituals, the traditions, the assumptions–yes, even the pious beliefs–you are tempted to cherish instead?

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