Change

Christ wants us to face reality as it is, including all the fears, hurts, resentments, and self-protective motives we work hard to keep out of sight, and to emerge as changed people. ~Larry Crabb

Scandinavian genes, New England upbringing, introverted by nature– privacy is fiercely defended territory in my DNA. Add to that a 15-year bout with legalism–the conscious attempt, by outward behavior, to become what I was not–I was in trouble.

When our energies and efforts are directed toward trying to prove we are better than we are, we embrace a lie, and slowly die.

• We pretend to be better (I’m a good person!)
• We pretend we are doing better…

…than the voice of longing and disappointment deep within would claim.

Church people are often the worst. Testimonies are given in the past tense–I once was lost, but now I’m fine, was blind, but now I’ve arrived. So, who is most likely to stay home on a Sunday morning? The empty, doubting and confused or the self-satisfied and full?  

When I wasn’t looking, Larry Crabb’s book, Inside Out, slipped right past my PRIVATE, THANKS sign. His words exposed the true motivation behind my pious efforts–to avoid facing my own inner mess.

Change begins when we face the truth:

This life will never be complete. We will never be what we wish we could be. We will hunger and thirst, long for and sigh, disappoint and be hurt as long as we are here. To face that truth is to begin to change.

Come, all you who are weary, who hunger and thirst for what you cannot name. Come, you doubters and sinners, you losers and quitters. Come, you hopeful and despairing, haters and lovers, complainers and grateful. Come to me, the Living Water. In me your thirsty souls will find relief. 

(Psalm 63:1  Isaiah 55:1-2  John 4: 13-14; 7:37-38  Revelation 22:17)