You Only Keep What You Give Away

“The world is not mine for the taking. Rather, it is mine for the giving.”

Craig D. Lounsbrough

The opposite of give is not receive. It’s withhold, because generosity makes no sense. If I open my wallet, my heart, or my mind, what will be left of me?

But that’s the point. You were made to be given away. You are the gift.

The Bias Toward Self

Take my money, take my time, take advantage–you are welcome to it all. But ask me, in the heat of the moment, to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and my fist clenches tight, Yet, isn’t the assumption of good intent what I hope to receive for myself?

Now, your turn. What do you find difficult to share? Possessions? Forgiveness? Your vulnerable heart? Why is it so hard to be generous?

“The bias towards self is the beginning of all disorder,” wrote Blaise Pascal. How different this world would be if we first sought the good for each other! Thomas Merton could have been speaking directly to our time when he wrote,

“To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon my self is to live on the doorstep of hell.”

And when we live on that doorstep, we inevitably create hell on earth for others.

The seventh verb in our Alphabet of Life series addresses the question, “What would it look like to live on the doorstep of heaven instead?”

1. You make the first move

“The measure you give will be the measure you get back,” observed Jesus (Luke 6:38). Stingy people receive stinginess in return. Haven’t you observed this to be true?

My tiny crumb of empathy
a mere teaspoonful of grace,
begrudgingly, I offer token help
while you're strengthening your case
(against me).

But with a barrel-full of kindness,
reflected on my face,
generously I, too, receive
for now I'm living in His grace
(for me).  

“It is the spirit of greed which Jesus said God hated more than any other. It is so diametrically opposite to the Spirit of God. For God forever lavishes His gifts upon the good and bad alike, and finds all His joy in endless giving.”

Frank C. Laubach

2. To give you must let go

We awake every morning encrusted with self, our souls yearning to be freed of greed. God knows this about us and offers the solution in a verb found 114 times in the Old Testament. Yadah, translated both “confess” and “give thanks”, stems from the Hebrew verb to throw, or to cast, as one would cast a stone. Perhaps the meaning evolved from the ancient posture of prayer–hands raised, fists unclenched and empty.

Every day we are commanded to confess–casting our hatred, our hoarding, our hypocrisy into the ocean of God’s mercy. Every day we are commanded to give thanks–offering back to God both small and stunning graces we foolishly think we’ve earned.

And, when we obey the call to yadah, heaven invades every hell.

3. You are the gift

Any cemetery reminds us we keep nothing except what we give away. And the ripple effect of even small gestures of grace can turn back the cruelest of tides.

Of course, you can choose to be stingy, to keep score, opening your heart and life to only the worthy few. But you’ll impress no one. As Jesus pointed out, even the wicked lavish favor on like-minded friends. God messes with our merit systems by lavishing his goodness on saints and scoundrels, on friend and foe, and expects us to do the same. “Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you,” commands Jesus in Matthew 5:48.

A lesson

A few years ago, my husband was hospitalized with a serious illness, and eventually released with expectations of full recovery, though barely able to walk. One rainy morning, our chronically irritated (with us) neighbor saw Dave struggle to bend over to pick up the newspaper from the driveway. Though she made no comment at the time, for the next three months our neighbor rose early every morning to move the paper to our front door.

More than any cards or well-wishes could, that unexpected, undeserved, daily act of kindness left behind the scent of mercy and turned a neighbor into a friend.

What is difficult for you to give away today?

Thank you for joining us here! You can subscribe to this series by scrolling to the very bottom of this blog. Next time in An Alphabet of Life: Wisdom Learned in the Verbs? H is for Hear.