A Beginner Once Again

The beginnings of all things are small. ~Cicero

I’m getting used to swimming in the beginner end of the pool.

A year ago, I pushed the Publish button, sending my first blog post flailing into the water, nose-plugs in place, ears ringing with my plea, “Just do your best, that’s all anyone expects!”

This is what I wrote:

“Life is filled with firsts. First days, first attempts, first drafts. And wherever firsts are found, failure lurks nearby.

Most of us don’t like the beginnings of things because competence makes us feel secure. We crave accomplishment, or at least the appearance of having arrived. But few of us get there with the first attempt.”

I had recently attended a Writer’s Conference and came away both terrified and jazzed by the potential of the Internet–that wild, surreal, bazaar of ideas both wretched and redemptive. Could my typing fingers be used by God to offer hope and healing and challenge in such a crowded marketplace?

With little idea of what I would encounter I jumped into the murky water anyway.

An expert told me, “You will only begin to know what you are doing after you’ve written one hundred posts.” This is post number 155 and nothing is easier. But it’s different–I have changed. I don’t dread failure or crave competence in the way I did a year ago. Instead, I fear the fences my cowardice may create, the doors I slam shut that may never re-open.

So, just in time, I’m a beginner again.

A Beginner Once Again

I received an unexpected gift from God’s generous hand. In six weeks I travel to Southern France for a two-week plein air oil painting workshop. This learning curve is steeper than last year’s. I daubed my first oil paint to canvas a few days ago. I’m told I will know what I’m doing after one hundred paintings are complete…

In case you are wondering, the painting above is my teacher’s work-in-progress. My first effort is this far more modest one.

Learning is more fun when it’s shared so I’m taking you, my accommodating readers, along with me on this journey.

Lesson One: It’s safe to be a trembling beginner when you’re held by an unshakeable hand.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10).

I’d love to hear where you’ve become a beginner again? How is it going?