Second Deadly Thought: Lust

We are not masters of our own feeling, but we are by God’s grace masters of our consent. ~St. francis de Sales

Lust is the alien impostor of love. And we live in the thick of its pollution.

So thick, we’ve forgotten what it feels like to breathe air unclouded and clean.

Lust is named one of the Eight Deadly Thoughts for good reason. Left to its devices, lust kills the most beautiful gift God has given–relationship. Richard Foster writes, “The relationship between male and female is the human expression of our relationship with God.”

Or so it is designed to be.

Lust: The strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated feelings of love or affection.

That second part is key. Lust is sex with all the relationship drained away. A corpse.

You hold up a picture in your mind and say “I will love you.” You hold that same picture up and say “I will lust you.” Notice your thoughts travel in opposite directions.

Toward self-giving–the desire to encourage and serve for their good
Toward self-absorption–the desire to possess and enjoy for your pleasure

We’ve lost our way. Not only do we glorify lust in our movies and sitcoms, but the laugh-track implies something’s wrong if we don’t.

So, Is Lust Really A Problem?

A mind filled with fantasy can’t also discern.
A mind listening to lust can’t also hear God.
A mind willing to objectify others can’t also love.

How do we climb out of the smog, clear our heads and restore our vision?

Some Ideas:

Care: Notice the millions neglected, abused or trapped in self-loathing. This is what unbridled lust has accomplished. Allow yourself to be sickened and sad.
Confess: Notice what you watch, where you “surf,” what you read. When alone with your thoughts, where do they linger? What influences needs to go out with the trash?
Community: Find an accountability partner or group. Prayer is the power that breaks lust’s deadly grip.
Cultivate your appetite for wholesome fare. As the Apostle Paul urged,

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

A Few Resources:

I appreciate Barb Wilson’s blog post, 50 Shades of Frenzy, on the damaging effects of lust, glamorized in books like 50 Shades of Gray. Her website offers helpful resources for sexually broken men and women.

Dee Bright has written a great book, The Divine Romance, on healing for women trapped in harmful thinking . Click on her website to learn more.

What change can you make today to clear the air of lust?